“Flashback Friday with anxious memories of past incidents”

Another relapse caused Nelson to finally decide to go into rehabilitation. For me this was the last attempt before I filed for divorce. Since according to some people “I got what I deserved,” I would have to swallow my pride and put up with the shame and embarrassment of a divorce after only two years of marriage.

We both went into therapy and followed a 12-week programme. If we wanted to reap the fruits of physical, emotional, and spiritual healing for ourselves and for our marriage, we had to forget the past and commit to each other to make it work. This was either going to make us or break us.

In the meantime rehab therapy was terminated. We were both happy again, lovingly appreciating and enjoying each other with an abundance of energy. Sooner or later a next generation would be under construction.

Unfortunately, however, good times don’t last forever. One night a friend dropped off Nelson quite late as I fell asleep. He made a u-turn, and left with the car. I woke up, looked at the clock, and that creepy feeling got a hold of me again. For the rest of the night, I couldn’t sleep. Helpless and comfortless, all I could do was pray quietly. This was Flashback Friday where anxious memories of past incidents at Boca, Mahuma, and even once in Venezuela were relived.

At one point I thought he was lying to me when he said he wasn’t having sex with other women in exchange for drugs. I regretted stopping the use of contraceptives and hoped a pregnancy wasn’t on the way. How much longer could I and should I put up with this conflicting life?

“Caressing and romancing felt like “the touch of the master’s hand.”

My eyes fell on a man named Mr. Jones who was married with children. At first he wasn’t aware of my intricate lifestyle. We spoke about our relationships and I asked him why he was fooling around. According to him his relationship was complex and they had filed for divorce.

Unable to fake my feelings I consciously allowed myself to fall into that trap. I prayed, “Oh Lord, give me strength to resist the temptation,” yet I couldn’t resist tasting of the forbidden fruit. Caressing and romancing felt like “the touch of the master’s hand.”


From “Go Ahead, You’re Home” – The Caribbean Dream with Grit & Guts
A true and poignant story of forgiveness, hope and love. Mountain-moving faith with a burning desire determined to succeed.

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